Until fairly recently I’ve kept contact with an ex.
He would tell me about the parties he went to, show me pictures of his new girlfriend, and even link new music to me.
Only problem? He didn’t know it.
I, like many of my friends, Facebook lurk.
I guess it’s more of an easy access thing. I figure if an ex chooses to make his profile visible, I have as much right to see his every post as the next person.
So I lurk, occasionally. It’s not like it’s a daily habit.
It was going just fine until, out of nowhere, he changed his privacy settings.
As I prepared for my guilty pleasure of seeing how much weight he’s gained, I came face to face with just a picture and name.
Like an addict, I refreshed the page…hoping it might magically reappear unprotected.
After initial shock I began to think about how Facebook, and other social networking sites, have changed relationships.
Mom used to tell me dating stories from the eighties. Her and my aunt used to drive past an ex-boyfriend’s house to see if his car was there, often circling several times in one hour.
Oh how easy it must have been to have such limited information to go on.
The problem with social networking sites is that it takes the effort out. Instead of ACTUALLY stalking our ex-boyfriends we’re able to access everything from home.
This kind of peeping also FEELS different. We’re not parking outside of someone’s home and waiting to see who he brings home; we’re viewing things he shares with friends.
You’re able to maintain a connection to someone who doesn’t connect back.
By peeping at profile pages we allow ourselves to stay in the same mindset and not fully get over breakups.
So, as a reformed Facebook stalker, his decision to change his profile now seems to be for the best.
This, however, does not void his unprotected Myspace account. 
Do YOU cyber stalk? Discuss the pros/cons in the comments!
Oh I definitely fb stalk. And I’m proud of it. It’s actually quite a skill when you come down to it.
I’m too shy to actually ask some questions that need answers, and usually fb is the perfect place to figure it out. How old is he? Does he have a girlfriend? What’s my high school bully’s pregnancy count up to now? Does this person I don’t know who is trying to add me someone I actually do know or is he just a creeper?
Lots of questions (and some guilty pleasures) can be satisfied by fb. Unfortunately, there’s always that one person who doesn’t have one, and it makes you realize just how much of a fb stalker you really are…
Love this post.
I totally own up to doing this…on the reg. Sometimes I’m pretty impressed with how good I am at it… Skillz.
Like repley pointed out… I definitely use fb stalking as a way to find out anything I’m too shy to find out in person! For instance, I wonder what that extremely attractive guy in my _____ class is all about? Well, with a simple name search and some snooping . . .
I know it’s a horrible habit but, hey, a single girl needs all the help she can get
haha
P.S. Last week hid my ex’s posts/photos from showing up on my news feed. So I’m taking a step in the right direction !